The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
