dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Green mimosas i think yes
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
