you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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