And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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