oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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