isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
