so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
