honey bunches of taint.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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