I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I touched a dick in church today
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