i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
