shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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