I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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