I hope mine doesn't look like that
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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