If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
