So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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