Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
