Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
