you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
