I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
