id be glad to
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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