But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What drink are we having for lunch?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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