Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
