also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
