im six kinds of drunk right now
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
