If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
