Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
