Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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