Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
