What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
