She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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