I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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