he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize