FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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