My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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