so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
