so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
