All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize