he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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