The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
there is glitter all over my balls
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
