Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We left an ass print on the piano.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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