Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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