is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
