I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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