I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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