One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
