that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
