In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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