he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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