My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
