I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
