you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize