No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
