I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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