Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
They are going to name an STD after you.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
