I can tuck mytits in my pants
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
