im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
His hands were made for my vagina.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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